Jeff Davis | Vent Section Manager

2/01/02

I've never been into the party scene so my choices for weekend entertainment can be kind of limited. One thing my roommates and I can all enjoy is a movie at the New River Valley Mall. We've had a lot of good times making fun of the ads that pop up before the previews start, answering the trivia questions with stupid answers and pretending to be riding a roller coaster when the silly short with the film reel starts. Our memories are a bit tarnished, however, when blabby people sitting near us-or anywhere in the theatre-have to run their motor mouths at full throttle.

A little while ago Shaun Corley and I went to see "A Beautiful Mind," the new Ron Howard film featuring Russell Crowe, Ed Harris and the eternally luscious Jennifer Connelly. The performances from everyone cast were brilliant. Shaun lost any doubts he had about Russell Crowe that night. He had to think long and hard about it, though, because of two younger girls behind us cooing, cawing, screaming, crying and yelling to the characters things like, "don't go in there!"

It reminds me of people who speak long, articulate sentences to their Golden Retrievers and are baffled when their speech doesn't illicit a similar response.

I tried long stares at them to make them hush. We hissed "sssh!" at them and did whatever else we could to restrain ourselves from pouring all their popcorn in their flap-jaws at once. In the end the soda film on the cement floor kept our tennis shoes in place but it was a matter of time before we broke free and opened a can.

Why get so riled? $6.50 is a lot for some people. Especially people like me who don't and can't work while in school and Shaun who lives off what the University pays him for his Writing Center hours. A movie also doesn't need all the arbitrary commentary from a peanut gallery. This is my argument for why shows like "Dinner and a Movie" should be banned. I want to watch the film without people spoiling the end or jumping out of their seats each time a door gets slammed.

But perhaps most important, it's just wrong. Manners are becoming more and more extinct everywhere I go. People don't hold doors open anymore-that, or they don't say "thank you" when you hold the door. You usually hear this noise that sounds relatively close to something like "burnk." There a few manner-minded folks out there. I salute the extra effort.

So next time you go to a movie, make sure two scrawny literature-types aren't sitting near you. Revenge of the nerds will be especially sweet.