Steve Glassbrenner | Toon Section Manager

3/29/02

Why on earth does Radford University fund Greeks, and their Greek Life? Getting drunk is not hard. Having casual sex isn't that hard either (just visit Muse Hall on any given day!) It's about time someone spoke up. Why not shut the whole system down? Get rid of all the Greeks. Get rid of the Alphas, Betas, Deltas, Gammas, and all the rest of them. Why don't they go out and make friends one on one instead of purchasing them in bulk like some people buy calling cards at Sam's Club? It's quite absurd.

I am sick and tired of people thinking that just because they've got letters on most of their apparel that they then owe it to the rest of us to be loud, obnoxious, destructive, and elitist. All year long I've had people behind my apartment partying to all early hours of the morning, keeping me up as well. College is fun, but I came here and am paying for an education. You may not have eight o'clock classes but I do. I view frats like I do sexually deviant life styles. It's not my thing, so don't try pushing it on me. Keep it to yourself.

Since this is the April Fool's edition, I must be joking. Unfortunately, the truth of the matter is that I am not joking at all. Well, maybe I'm joking just a little. No, honestly I'm not. Don't worry, I am joking, I promise. Actually there is no way I am joking. I am totally serious about being serious about joking about not joking about the total lack of seriousness in the matter of my joking. Still, somebody had to say it.