Katie Tandler | Life Section Manager

3/29/02

For those of you who aren't aware, there is currently a great deal of turmoil brewing on the educational front. The controversy began when the Virginia school board introduced a new mandatory standardized test designed to help troubleshoot students' problem areas so that help can then be administered. This new test is known as the Scholastically Helpful Intelligence Test (SHIT).

The school board anticipated an entirely different response from what actually took place. They had assumed that the students would gladly take SHIT if it meant their grades would improve. But it seems that this was noth the case. Virginia students are in fact sick and tired of the constant standardized testing, and it seemed that this SHIT was the breaking point.

Feelings against this were strong. Teachers were unable to control the classrooms, and even normally well-behaved students became unruly when pressured to take the test. The stakes were raised when administrators were called in to personally administer the tests, but the students were adamant in making their point: they weren't going to be taking SHIT from anybody.

Violence soon broke out. Students were throwing stacks of the tests in fits of rage. Three teachers were hospitalized and at least twenty more suffered minor injuries from the flying piles of SHIT. The rampage was soon ended when administrators promised they would no longer attempt to force them to take the test.

Today's demonstration may signify the beginning of the end of standardized testing. Perhaps education will once again be more about the means than the end result. One thing is for certain: if the school board tries to introduce another standardized test anytime soon, they will certainly find themselves S.O.L-- SHIT out of luck.