Top 10 Ways to Get Rid of a Stalker
The Whim Staff
2/22/02
Patented Acme stalker trap.
License to carry a concealed handgun.
Hire a stalker's stalker.
Knowing a 6'5" Hispanic named Tony.
IP tracking service (Student Media Lab, anyone?).
Develop a fetish for Dalton rolls.
Cut their ethernet line.
An old favorite...flaming poop on the doorstep.
Make it known that you're a typical Radford girl.
Start smoking.
Name: Greg W. Comments:
Stalker? That's a bit harsh isn't it? What's wrong w/ people who like ya? LOL I want a stalker!!!!
Name: Bryan Year: Frosh Comments:
Hey! Our pics have a little diversity now! Woohoo!
Name: Big Steve Comments:
YOU COULD ALWAYS HAVE THE STALKER TAKE YOU OUT FOR MEXICAN FOOD AND GO BACK TO YOUR PLACE GET IN BED WITH THEM AND PROCEED TO GIVE THEM TO MOTHER OF ALL DUTCH OVENS.
Name: Blitzkrieg! Year: Aluminum Comments:
As with my many stalkers... I just let em' drink from the ol' firehose I rigged up in the bathroom. I just forget which nozzle controls hot and which controls cold... ah, well.
I'm with the BBC, yo!
Name: Jeff Year: Senior Major: English Comments:
He's 305? Damn, he could protect the whole apartment with his pinky.
Name: brandon Comments:
Tell him or her that you have to go dust your Richard Simmons posters.
Name: Jenn Comments:
Be like me and hook up with someone who's 6'3", 305, a football player, and a bouncer. You'll always feel safe!
Name: PeeR Comments:
I've never seen a better model for a "perp"! LOL hahah Just kidding Tony. :)
Name: Shaun Year: Grad Major: English Comments:
Crack em in the jaw with the Bitch Be Cool Stick!
