Learn To Drive!
Amanda Hoffer | Staff
Writer
After a near accident the other day I decided that not enough of you
out there know how to drive. Or maybe you just don't know how to do so
intelligently. So I've taken it upon myself and my most gracious nature to
give you a few instructions not only on driving but how to utilize some of
those tricky gadgets and gizmos that come standard in most cars.
First off I can't stress this enough. TURN SIGNALS! They are in your
car for a reason. I know there is no fun compared to scaring the absolute $!#
out of the driver in the next lane by suddenly whipping in front of them, but
it's not only annoying, but dangerous. Plus giving your fellow driver a heart
attack isn't the best way to make friends.
 Next, I know driving in the fast
lane makes you feel all big and
important but if you aren't going to go the speed limit MOVE! Because although
you think it's funny to make that huge SUV have to drive behind you, he
doesn't, and is this close to ramming your bumper and taking the deductible.
My suggestion? Go at least five to ten miles over the speed limit or ride in
the slow lane.
Finally, there is a reason your headlights go from bright to dim. It
so that you don't blind me going in the opposite direction, causing me to slam
my car into a tree. I understand that maybe you don't realize how damn bright
your brights are so let me give you an idea. Try staring into the sun for one
whole minute. Are your retinas damaged yet? Yeah, that's how painful it is.
Don't leave your brights on anymore.
Hopefully I've taught you something today. Please apply these things
in your everyday driving. I'd like to drive home this Friday and make it there
without being in an accident.
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