Jeff Davis | Vent Section Manager

Don't take things too seriously, I tell myself often. People just want to laugh, and I for one will attest to the fact that if it weren't for humor, I wouldn't be here now. But a particular breed of jokes, if indeed they are intended to be jokes, hit too close to home with some young women I know, and with myself. They're right up there with racial jokes. These non-funny jokes I see and hear are what have become known as "catcalls."

First off, I think this ritual is aptly named. The guy calls out to the girl like she's a cat, thinking with some pedantic offer he can get her to walk right over and lick from his milk bowl. Sure, that happens. Maybe somewhere there's a girl gullible enough to come to this kind of guy. But I've yet to meet her.

Secondly, the practice simply goes counter to every bit of progress women have made over the years. "Women's Rights" is not terminology that means women want special treatment--it means they want equal treatment, equal protection under the laws, and they want their choices respected and supported, among other things. As such, a woman has a right not to be yelled at like she's a chocolate tabby getting a sultry offer from a Manx. While some guys might welcome girls spouting sexually obscene things at them (and maybe there are girls who would be flattered by this commentary), yelling gross invitations out of your car on Norwood Street to a group of girls in cute outfits is hardly polite, and isn't something (I believe) most women with good heads on their shoulders would succumb to.

Third, and I ask this with all prudence: do you catcallers have any idea how dumb you look when you do that? First of all you scream in a manner that skews your voice into crows-at-a-madrigal territory. Nowhere near sexy, unless you're a crow. You lean out of the window of the car like that late model Acura Integra is a Winston Cup racer.and that alone is not only dangerous, but also simply dopey. Sooner or later you're going to hit a tree branch. That'll certainly win you some points for grace with the ladies. There's usually some sort of music playing, oftentimes coupled with the barump- barump of a 400-watt subwoofer, making your fenders bloat and crack. So, not only will you not get those girls anywhere near where you want them, your ride is turning to crap. When you do finally get a date, how will you take her anywhere when your car has the structural integrity of a saltine cracker?

Used to be I just took all this clowning around in stride. I like a good laugh and it used to be that I'd just chuckle at these jokers. "Ha ha, he's so stupid." But it's just not funny anymore. It's just nauseating. How inane can people be? These guys have to have at least a micron of intelligence, and that little speck of gray matter should let them know they're full of nonsense and no girl will take their "offers" seriously. I guess their heads are just full of Error 404s. Courtesy Not Found. Please Contact Your Brain's Administrator. In this case, the administrator would be someone like Whim's famous misogynist advice-man, Vinnie the Barber.

Catcalling got intensely unfunny after two things: 1) I am presently taking a class called Female Literary Traditions and am seeing (not for the first time but with more detail) just how rotten women were treated throughout history. Catcalling is a 21st century equivalent, even though it's been going on longer than just recently. 2) My girlfriend got catcalled a while back. "Hey baby, why doncha come over here and suck my [use your imagination]?!" This predominantly male practice, which can be likened to drunk guys smelling their own farts, becomes especially sick when it happens to the women I love.

It's degrading, immoral, and just wrong.

So in the end, humor is a great thing. But it's just not funny when we know that some guys really are "like that."