Look What You've Done To Me!
Gina Leahy | Guest Writer

This morning, as I was perusing the AP headlines, the first one I saw was "China Opposes Spread of U.S.-Led Strikes on Terror" My first, initial thought was, "Oh, yeah? F#%!7@g China, let's see who's gonna miss their sweet trade status now." As I read on, the intelligent, well read, reasoning side of my mind was squeezed into the spot just below my ear, dominated by the latest, red white and blue half of my brain.

Skipping down, I read that the "Taliban Lifts 'Restrictions' on Bin Laden." Apparently the regime that once monitored and placed limits on the terrorist has now given him free reign. "Of course they did," I thought. "They've got no control left. Besides, he's a dead man anyway." The Taliban, in my estimation now, are about as effective and menacing as preschoolers playing dress-up with towels in a sandbox.

I even take military operations criticism personally now, and in a disquieting McCarthyistic sort of way. "Albright Warns Against Widening War." Puh-leeze, I thought, someone shut off her microphone. Dim-witted liberals always trying to clutter things up and be contrary.

It was about then that I realized what I had become. An input- output android. I like Madeline Albright. I believe strongly in making judgments based on one's own experience and values. I'm American, damn it, and I believe in free speech. Voltaire's famous "I disapprove of what you say, but will defend to the death your right to say it" motto is my own. So what happened? Why can't I get past my first reaction to a headline, or a photo, without making a face and cursing the darkness? My man Voltaire also said, "Prejudice is what fools use for reason." Now, I'm not a fool, but I may not be using reason.

There has been a lot of talk about how the U.S. had been relatively smug and cocky regarding their super power status in the days, months, and decades from September 10th, 2001 on back. That is also the widely accepted explanation given for how attacks were possible. Americans simply didn't grasp such a possibility. Now, we are supposed to have become the "feeling, human, everyman" nation, worthy of pity and compassion as we extend a muscled but bruised arm out to the globe.

So why, then, have I gotten more confidant, boastful, and arrogant than ever? And, am I alone in this? Speaking for myself, it probably has something to do with the power of suggestion.

I 'lived' in an age and an environment where I looked toward the president to be visible and active because I knew it would make for a good SNL skit. I wrote a paper my senior year, in government class calling for the 'phasing out' of the executive branch of our government, in retaliation to having to choose to endorse a candidate. Clinton? Dole? Four years of Phil Hartman or Norm MacDonald? It was 1996, B.A. (Before Attacks)

I was terribly vulnerable, like all other Americans, after...you know. It seemed like a thousand years before Bush addressed the nation that night, and I was ready for it. I had already been talking to Dan Rather through my TV all day, but he was being understandably unresponsive. I was a like shredded sponge, damaged, but desperate to absorb. And then he said those magic words. "A great people has been moved to defend a great nation. These acts shattered steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve. America was targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world. And no one will keep that light from shining."

Damn straight, W, I thought. That was the moment that I, average, incredulous, disinterested young adult, became a full-blown government propaganda apparatus. I took it in, I gave it out. And I still don't think there's anything wrong with it.

But I watched bin Laden's statement, too. Thing is, watch it again, and substitute 'nation' for 'religion,' substitute 'terrorism' with 'Americans,' and you have a pretty similar message. Not the same, of course. It's just that I understand that the door of mass persuasion is a revolving one. It's the audience that is key here. Something tells me that the people a tired, hunted-looking bin Laden preached to are not going to be as filled with mind-changing glimpses of promise and pride as I have been.

I'm being more careful, though. I'm trying now to read the whole story, not just stopping and cursing what I consider to be anti-American, and therefore anti-good vibe. I'm trying to get past the photographs, the demonstrators, and the rallies. I'm trying to read like I used to, with open mind. I did manage to get to the bottom of a statement today, from the al Qaeda. Their spokesman said, "The Americans must know that the storm of airplanes will not stop, God willing, and there are thousands of young people who are as keen about death as Americans are about life."

Yeah. I wonder if he realizes just how many of us fall into that category now. Even we are just now realizing how keen on life we really are. If that sounds like pro-American, pro-military offense, pro-Bush rhetoric, well, that's what it is.