I, Grant Simmons, being of sound mind (ha) and body hereby bequeath:

1. The almighty, all-powerful gloriouso manifestation of the most powerful entity of destructive energy EVER created by nature. That’s right, no other mortal shall wield the BITCH BE COOL stick except the Graphics Goddess herself… my lil’ german cookie Jenn Peterson!
2. An unevaluated and undetermined amount of questionable herb to Shaun Corley. And if anything else, Crrrrap! Because it’s not Scottish!
3. To Jeff Davis I leave my ackwards-bass vocabulary (for his poetry). (plus a forced beer and cigarette)
4. Mi speling skils two Rachel Thomason.
5. Another arm-wrestling rematch, which Tim Evans is sure to lose!
6. To Dave Betancourt my “HTML Trooper of the Year” award!
7. To Dave Greek my lousy sense of humor, but he already has had enough of it! Kudos, chap!
8. My be-boppin’ rhythm to Zac Martin… or not.
9. To Steve (Dawg) Turner I leave my wily temperament, Lord knows he won’t get his apartment deposit back.
10. To Brian Nash I hand the Desert Rose, for the Ruby Weapon has fallen to the Venus Gospel. *evil grin*
11. To Jennie Judy I’ll leave some madcap memories of Health class…with Tracy, wherever she went…
12. To Amanda Steele I leave a Thermonuclear Discombobulater if she can find a use for it…
13. To Nicole Ridgeway I leave this well edited article!!
14. To everyone else: All your bases are belong to me. Someone set up Whim the bomb.

    It’s been fun running this ship into the ground ‘yall… See you all at the reunions to come, and best wishes for the future…

    Signing out… this is Grant, yer faithful co-pilot.

    ---

    Responses:
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    Name: Blitzkreig!!
    Year: Who knows?
    Major: Beer
    Comments:
    Susan Bates gets em' all, because I (gasp) forgot to put her on here... *grins*

    Name: Shaunathan
    Year: Soon-to-be-Grad
    Major: English
    Comments:
    What about the Hot Pepsi, the Fresh Popcorn, the Cherry Flavored Anti-freeze and the Extreme "Had to Change my Diaper Twice" Ministries? Who gets them?

    Name: stinky
    Comments:
    hey, I took all those pictures of grant that are worth publishing ... stay tuned to EBay in the "toilet porn" section for additional info

    Name: Dr. Steve Dawg
    Comments:
    To all of out there who read this ... know that I took those pictures that Grant used in his picture above. And see line 9 above, yes I dought I will get my deposite back.

    Name: Mr. Peepers
    Comments:
    I think the world would be a better place without butt weasils and perhaps people who are obsessed with ass fisting too (I won't give names, Rift opps).

    Name: Pastor of Disaster
    Major: Easin' up on them hammers
    Comments:
    Arrrrgh! What you mean? I can write funnyy joooks. I am funny. Arrrrgh! (trips over midget, falls down stairs, face plants on meat thermometer, rolls to the side and grasps blindly towards that damn midget) Errrrrghhhh!!!

    Name: the lil' german cookie
    Comments:
    Danke Schön for the Bitch-Be-Cool stick Blitzkrieg. It's in good hands. I'll take good care of it and use it's powers wisely (evil grin) until it is time to pass it along to another deserving Whimmer. The stick and I will miss you buddy.

    Name: Blitzkreig!!
    Comments:
    Go nuts eveyone... I fixed the bad link, okay!!! Yammer your heart's content...