Stupid Bumper-stickers
Graphic By: Jenn Peterson

Driving down a two-lane road, stuck behind a bus or some other slow moving vehicle, sometimes all you can do is read the bumper stickers of the driver in front of you. Most advertise a radio station, show support for a sport team or advocate some political cause. That's fine. But some bumper stickers are so ignorant they justify road rage on the driver sporting them. Or at least an article in Whim. Here is but a sampling:

In Case of Rapture, This Car Will Be Unmanned.
OK, first off: for those of you not in the know, the rapture is a biblical event in which, during the alleged "end times," God will call his followers home to heaven; these followers will disappear suddenly with out a trace. Or something. Anyway, this bumper sticker should actually read: "In Case of Rapture, The Self Righteous Twit Driving This Car Will No Longer Be With Us. Good Riddance."

My Kid Just Beat Up Your Honor Student
This one was funny, when it first showed up, like, 20 years ago!
Sheesh, come up with something original why don't you?

Don't Get Too Close Or I'll Fart
Can someone say "redneck?"

Bush/Cheney 'Nuff said.

I Didn't Fight My Way to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian
And yes I fought my way up here with smart bombs, nerve gas, stealth bombers, and all sorts of others cool high tech instruments of destruction. Oh, how can I forget the sanctions I imposed on all those little animals? After all they're not middle class, white, Protestant Americans, so what good are they?

God Said So. That's Why.
This one makes me so mad it's hard for me to think of something witty to say. It's because of stuff like this that I have such a negative image of Christians. What is this sticker saying? Don't question anything. Be another brick in the wall.

We Don't Give A Damn What Y'all Do Up North!
Yee-haw Billy Bob! People want to know why Southerners are the laughing stock of the country?

Follow Me to the Moon
But don't get too close or I'll fart!

This is only a small sampling of the wit and humor prevalent on American highways. Seen any that you would like to share? Post them in the feedback forum below.


Responses:
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Name: Agnostic
Comments:
Yikes. My spelling is bad. Need Coffee

Name: Agnostic
Comments:
The purpose of Nazi Haulocaust was killing either. It was hope (by some racist madmen) that they would have a clean genetic slate to build Aryian super-humans. I say this to point out a logical error in Christian Steve's argument about the purpose of Christianity. The purpose and real effect are often two different things and we much take both of them together. By the way, Hitler was a devout Christian (in his own way) who we are starting to find out had strong support from the Catholic church and was also was quoted many times that wiping out the jews was a duty to God. My point is that Christianity is not absolute good, or at least it hasn't been historically. The religon itself has been involved some really bad stuff these past 2000 years. It seems hypocrical or nearsighted to ignore that and proclaim that it is all about the love.

Name: Sue
Major: Psych
Comments:
This comment is for the first person who commented named "Christian Steve"... stop giving out our number you fucking dumbass... thank you for letting me vent too!

Name: Christian Steve
Major: Info Sys
Comments:
Well I have to stand up for my beliefs. At one time I hated God, but to those of you who still do I think you have a lot of growing up to do and some learning as well. The purpose of christianity isn't killing its hope. The whole idea is that there is hope and love. Something I am afraid many of you have forgotten. On another note I want a bumper sticker that says "RU infected" that would be so funny. P.S> I not, but I am single call me at 731-****. For real thats my number try it. Ask for steve

Name: Agnostic
Comments:
A few bad apples? Well, while Christianity is certainly more love-oriented than most other western religons, it certainly doesn't seem to be entirly focused on love. For one thing, Christianity has a long bloody history of killing and toturing nonbelievers. It's like they never got over that throwing them in with the lions thing, so they have been doing the same to everyone else since they got the power. This even goes down to the sect level. Even today, Christians kill over Christians because the other side believe in the "wrong Christianity". For example: Northern Ireland. But put aside the history of violence for a moment. If the Christian God so loved the people he created, using the term love as we commonly understand it, why did he set up a situation where if you don't believe in a rather questionable story about a guy, a cross, and some prophets (told mainly by not very credable people) then you are damned to be totured in the most vile way possible forever. That doesn't really suit my personal view of how a loving supernatural diety behaves. The least he could have done is given us some sort of tangible empircle proof of what his will is, rather than leaving it up to our fellow flawed humans to tell us. Of course, I may be wrong. Just my opinion. I don't really a problem with any religous people, as long as they don't try to take away the seperation of church and state or attempt to set up a theocracy.

Name: Aubrey
Year: Senior
Major: Media Studies
Comments:
Not to create an even deaper religious debate here, everyone is entitled their own beliefs and opinions and I am not here to criticize those opinions. I have to agree with the previous comment that Christianity is supposed to be about love. I am a strong Christian, I am proud of it and I will defend it until the day I die. All I ask of others is that you not be turned away or make your opinion based on a few 'bad apples.' In recent times it seems more and more people are being turned away from Christianity because they are not a certain race or give a certain amount of money and it makes me very sad when thats the only form of Christianity that people see, it's only natural that they think all of us are like that. I encourage you all to find a place where are accepted just as you are, no strings attached. For that's where you will find the true Christians. Not on some infomercial on tv or on a piece of paper glued to the back end of a car.

Name: grant "blitzkrieg"
Year: Senior
Major: English
Comments:
Alright, alright. I suppose I should add another card to this deck. My commentary is addressed to all. Every person here has had something viable to say. But there is one aspect of Christianity that has not even been mentioned. LOVE. You can shake your finger, yell and scream, fight for all I care, but Jesus was about love. God hates sin. Doesn't hate sinners. Freakin' Ay! I'm a Christian, alright. But what I've noticed about life is that the world is becoming less hospitable as time passes. It isn't about forcing one's opinion on someone else, it's about loving them even if they spit on you and beat you. I can hear you yelling passive! No, defense is a key, but forgivness is crucial. As for policy... people aren't going to change on their own. And I agree with matt completely. Live your own interpretation. But there shouldn't be a person among you that disagrees with love. There's something for your mind to chew on.

Name: Matt
Comments:
Just checking on in to what whim was up to...heh, this is an interesting article to the say the least. A religious debate made out of a bumper sticker comment. I think that bumper stickers ruin cars, but there again is my own opinion. I await to be blasted for this next comment, but here it goes: I truly believe the move Dogma said it best (as I paraphrase) 'The church took an idea and made it into a structure of beliefs and that is where they got everything wrong. You place limits on people's minds and you ruin the idea, and make it truly a RELIGION.' I am a Christian, not a catholic, not a southern baptist, not a protestant, but simply a Christian. The ideals of Christianity, in my own thoughts are not correctly represented by one denomination or another. Look at how Christianity evolved into our current era. The crusades, and slaughter. Quite simply, it was all a matter of power and control for one or more individuals. To allow people those 'ideas' (as thought in Dogma) was punishable by torture or death. And even now in our world are the same in existence. None of it is right. However, you may believe what you wish, which is one of the greatest freedoms in America. It's not about church, or religion. It's about living your own interpretation. Think on that.

Comments:
Wow this quickly became a religious debate.

Name: dave
Comments:
church does suck. they want your money just like any other business. i don't remember hearing about jesus holding bake raffles. you 'christians' are supposed to give up everything you have and follow jesus. how many of you can honestly say you've done that?

Name: shaun
Year: senior
Major: english
Comments:
Alright let me clear things up...I AM NOT AN ATHEIST! Not by any strech of the imagination; I belive very much in God. However I don't believe in God in the same narrow minded sense that a majority do, the same majority that buys whatever their fed in church on Sunday, the majority that believes God is white, male, wears a polyester suit and lives in a splendid mansion in heaven. I look around at the world and see all the hateful things that are being done in the name of religion. Granted, there's a lot more to it than that, but what kind of message is a religion's followers sending to the world when they're out killing, robbing and raping in the name of "God" or "Allah" or whoever? Not a good one, that's for sure. I also believe very much in what Christ had to say, but I do not like the way his followers have turned his message (which BTW was a very, very radical one for its time) into a breeding ground for hatred and intolerance (FRED PHELPS ANYONE?). Just look at the uproar raised when Congress recently had a Hindu priest deliver a prayer, never mind the fact that there are a significant number of Hindus in the United States and the world as a whole. Think of the unpardonable sin in the bible, which is blasphemy of the holy spirit. How petty is that? "We can stand up here and say your religion is wrong, but the moment you say something about ours...it's off to Hell with you!" Again what kind of message is that sending? And by people coming and telling me that I have a negative attitude and I'm going to Hell, then they've just proven my point for me. Thank you.

Name: DevilFanFacesWryJeer
Comments:
Why should he work there? So your whole family who works there can have some company?? See how childish that sounds?

Comments:
you suck really bad get a life and really stop writing and do something else with your life like oh work at the burger king

Name: jeff
Comments:
Dear last poster: It's rather interesting that you can make such an inference from language alone. You must be quite the intellectual. I have read even MORE negative comments about people in general. They were from Jerry Falwell, Pat Buchanan, and Fred Phelps. First of all, I being a close friend of Shaun's and you probably not even knowing what color the frames of his glasses are, I can tell you that Shaun is still figuring out what he believes. He takes things with a grain of salt. He thinks. He's "damn no good liberal" and he is one of my best friends. You, poster, have no right to make such a statement. I also understand where he is coming from. Shaun has had VERY BITTER experiences with the church. Does this make him sour to it all? NO. He is sick of people telling him how to live his life. He is sick of people telling him that if he's not an orthodox Christian then he will not "enjoy anything in life." He is sick of people professing that they are right, ABSOLUTELY right, and have only second-hand experience to make such claims. Let me ask you something: If Christ came knocking on your door, and he looked just like the devil, would you let him in?

Year: 00
Major: RCPT
Comments:
your attitude to life reflects that you have no faith in God. I have never read such negative comments from a person. what do you enjoy in life?

Name: jeff
Comments:
This is a true VENT. I'm laughing my butt off right now. I know some of you Christians might be offended by some of the stuff here, but Shaun and I, for one, have not had very pleasant church experiences. Venting is what this section is for.