This commentary or advice section is geared toward all you folks getting ready to turn the age of all ages: twenty-one. This is the big one, sixteen and eighteen have gone by. You're able to drive and smoke now, but there was that little thing that you were looking forward to for so long. After this, there's nothing, supposedly.

Fortunately, most of those who have that final birthday are extremely tight-wound and ready to loosen up. That's a good thing too, because it is this birthday that will test any form of tolerance, whether it is low (good boy or girl) or high (naughty, naughty). The bottom line is that turning 21 can be very gratifying or disappointing depending on your point of view.

First of all, most people undergoing this "drastic change" are going to get trashed whether they like it or not. Common sense, right? Depending on how wild he or she is, it will take the utmost amount of concentration to keep consciousness. If this particular individual partook of spirits anytime before his/her party, it just won't be the same as old times. If he/she didn't, and this is his/her first drinking experience, get out the straightjacket because this could get dangerous.

Everyone's experience is different. Just remember there is no turning back, and alcohol will be expensive. The most important thing to remember is to have fun and don't get so intoxicated as to forget the whole thing.

Here's a little personal advice:

1. You've done well if you don't have a hangover the next day.
2. If you ever see gun-toting hip gangster Nazi transvestite Siamese-twin midget Eskimo paraplegic wannabes wielding blunt hatchets, run like hell.
3. If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Give her a call afterwards so she knows you are ok.
4. Remember that Jersey is Limbo on Earth and you don't want end up there on your birthday.
5. Don't go to a bar if you are looking to find true love.
6. Don't operate heavy machinery.
7. Try not to get a group of friends together to go dismantle something.
8. Your real friends are the ones who show up on your birthday to take you to a bar.
9. Never trust a sailor, especially one wielding a bottle of Bourbon. (don't ask)
10. Finally, it was Gene Wilder who once said, "May you want as long as you live, and live as long as you want."