Whim Internet Magazine

Britney and Justin: Why Should We Care?
Graphic By: Jenn Peterson

Okay, forget that she sings like a schizophrenic crow. Forget that he has never written a single decent song in his life. They're dating, a statement in a recent Elle magazine confirmed with a quote from Ms. Spears. I'm happy for them. But, oh, the rumors that will fly!

So, you have to ask yourself, what kind of rumors will the two lovebirds tolerate? Britney says she enjoyed the speculation that she and Justin Timberlake were engaged. "I told Justin during my show I would wear a big ring just to keep people talking," she apparently said in the interview. What kind of ring is that, a Ring Pop? Sorry, I couldn't resist that one.

She didn't take too kindly to the breast implants rumor. We can say the same thing about the lip-synching rumor. I find the latter the most hilarious. Who would want to fake singing like that? "Oh baybuh baybuh..."

Why do we even bother with rumors anyway? They're so ridiculous. I am sadly looking forward to hearing what lies will be fabricated about these two pajaros de amor. Let's think of some. I am creating them but admitting at the same time they are bologna. I can take credit for them and at the same time dispel them:

Britney and Justin had their first kiss in a jambalaya joint in the French Quarter.
Justin uses Britney's hair mousse when they go out on dates.
The couple trade fake-nudes of each other found on raunchy Internet sites.
Britney didn't get breast implants, but Justin wants some for himself.
The couple plan to do a cover of Sonny and Cher's "I Got You, Babe."
And if they break up, they will vocally duel with Linda Rondstadt's "You're No Good" with a bored Eddie Van Halen on guitar.

And I am a huge Van Halen fan. Anyway, see how dumb these were? I mean, goodness, I made them up in about five minutes. Aren't our lives dull enough without having to make them more so by incriminating the decisions of others?

Responses:
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Name: Chrissy
Year: ??
Major: None
Comments:
I think you should leave them alone. We can't do anything about how they feel for each other. I mean you have to admit...they are a cute couple. It's not like we've never seen them together before. (Mickey Mouse) N E wayz, it's not like they're getting married, even if they do who cares? That's between them, not the fans and them,

Name: AnaStacia
Year: 2001
Comments:
First of all i think u guys r pathetic. 1. Stop hating on britney cuz she has justin (u never had a chance) 2. Justin looks like a peice of trash. 3. He wants to be black so bad he is a embarssment to the black culture. 4. Leave them alone. 5. You think just beacause u met him on tour he is gonna dump someone he known since he was 12 4 u (whatever) 6. Its a free country he can date who ever he wants so can she. 7. So grow up and stop acting like immature fans.

Name: Stephanie
Year: 01
Comments:
I think that justin can do way better than that. Britney is the BIGGEST hoe and she is going to rune nsync in the future!

Name: meee
Year: 2001
Comments:
all of you asses need to shut the fuck up becuz all you stank white bitches are so jelous of them.get yo own man.dont be hataz.grow the fuck up. dang all you nasty redneck bitches are fucking dum as hell. justshut the fuck up and be happy justin and britney

Name: Julianna
Year: 01
Comments:
it's hysterical to read those comments from girls who hate britney spears simply b/c she's going out with justin timberlake.. how incredibly pathetic can you get? by the way, if they're going out, get over it. it would have happened no matter how much you wished it didn't or how much of a slut you think she is. she obviously has something that justin likes, right?

Name: Amelia
Year: 2001
Major: ??
Comments:
I think that Justin can do much better than that!!!!!!!She is a slut she dresses like one to and omg she is soooo fake!!!!!!!AINT JEALOUS

Name: Ashleigh
Year: 2001
Comments:
I think Britney is the biggest slut and justin needs to open his eyes and realize he can do better, and no I am not jealous, Justin has said to me ' that I am fine, so I am not jealous ( I met nsync in Denver)lol :)

Name: T-Liscious
Year: 1997
Major: HNS
Comments:
I think that Britney and Justin make a really nice couple, but she should tone down the things that she wears. I can understand "shaking what your mama gave ya", but this is a whole new level. I mean, I like to dress sexy too, but there are limits to everything. Also, the amount of makeup she uses has to go! She will start to look so old before her time that she will HAVE to wear makeup to look good (in the future). I appreciate myself as-is, and she could learn a lot from that.

Name: cindy
Year: 2000
Major: student
Comments:
i don't like the fact that britney is dating justin i just hope sumone will punch justin to wake him up from his bad dream

Name: iris
Year: 2000
Comments:
Who the hell cares

Name: Christina
Year: 19
Comments:
Justin pleeeeeaaseee don't marry that bitch .....never ever in your life there're much better persons in your career than this biiiithhhhchh

Name: Mariel
Year: 2000
Comments:
I think Justin wouldn't date a girl like Britney because they don't have the time to see each other they're always traveling,and in different tours and that way a relationship can't be established and can't be strong.Maybe she's trying to make Justin's fans jealous for the fact that ''she's dating him maybe she does maybe she don't I don't care I pick Lance

Name: Mariel
Year: 2000
Comments:
I think Justin wouldn't date a girl like Britney because they don't have the time tosee each other they're always traveling,and in different tours and that way a relationship can't be stalished and can't be strong.Maybe she's trying to make Justin's fans jealous for the fact that ''she's dating him maybe she does maybe she don't I don't care I pick Lance

Name: Carmen Electra
Comments:
YOU R SUCH A BITCH AND U DESERVE TO DIE ABORTING A BABY U SUCK AND JUSTIN I LOVE U U DESERVE SOMETHING BETTER THAN THAT PIECE OF SHIT HOW ABOUT ME ?ббббб WELL THIS IS FOR EVERYONE WHO'S IN BRITNEY'S SIDE ***FUCK ALL OF U***

Name: karla nun
Comments:
i think britney's a bitch and that she's really dating justin even if she says she doesn't because she wants to have sex with everybody ...... they sholdn't be together i just wish that she dies and stop singing that kinda shit cuz she make me sick and yeah she did had a breast surgery.

Name: Jennifer
Year: 18
Major: Student
Comments:
I think it is cool they are going out. I am happy for them. Alot people should leave it like that and be happy for them. They are teens to just like us. Thats what i think

Name: trudy
Year: 17
Major: student
Comments:
look everyone the only reason justin and britney are together is because they are both horny.i hate her for the fact that she lied to all of her fans and said its a lie no its not true. just shut the fuck up bitch go fuck yourself oh sorry you have justin for that.the only reason they are going out is also because he wants to stick his dick in her cunt we all that news about you fucking him in an apartment was true we all were going to find out anyway so you loose more fans you stupid dunce.just just i give up do whatever makes your pussy happy

Name: Alejandra
Year: 2000
Comments:
Britney, you're just the biggest slut ever. I hate you so much, and for u Justin, I think you can get something much better than this bitch.

Name: jane
Year: 1972
Comments:
i think that is just great, they make a cute couple and i love both there songs.

Name: KAM
Comments:
I DONT GIVE A S**T ABOUT THEM BECAUSE SHE IS A FAKE AND HE IS 100% GAY

Name: The" k "girl
Year: 2000
Major: nil
Comments:
well....,i think britney and justin is a perfect couple ... and t don't understand why all of u are breaking them up.Hey,Come on guys , wake up.... it's their affairs and not ours so pls ...stop saying rumours about them ok !!!btw britney....u have my support.hope u and justin will get married at once don't let them get jeolous ok .bye couples!!!

Name: Britney.
Year: 2000
Major: ...................
Comments:
"Britney" you are donkey & adog & apig& monkey&snake&fox&frog.and I want to say Justin is main,do u understand.

Name: Kooley kra
Year: 2000
Major: ..................
Comments:
To crun Britney: Iwant to say for you(You are a donkey but the donkey is better than you , I wish for you a bad B.day and i want to say Justin is main).

Name: Ndomupei
Year: 11
Major: .........................
Comments:
I think the whole thing is so so cool they look cute together. They've Known each other for a while, so just leave it alone. YOU ALL ARE JUST JEALYOUS!

Name: christia.
Year: 3000
Major: ..................
Comments:
To crazy Britney: I want to say (lem termtek ala katerha mfarta)hahahahahahah .

Name: christia.
Year: 18
Major: ..................
Comments:
To crazy Britney: I want to say (lem termtek ala katerha mfarta)hahahahahahah .

Name: christina.
Year: 18
Major: ..............
Comments:
To Britney: I hope for you a bad B.day.

Name: Erika
Year: 2000
Comments:
britney and justin are dating so leave them alone!

Name: jeff
Comments:
hey f*** you...read it again and you'll see why...

Name: mikky
Year: 2000
Comments:
i fuckin hate the idea of them being together.Justin can do sssssooooo much better then that slut.

Name: Fuck you.
Comments:
What the hell. They are a couple and why should you have to make this messed up page?

Name: kelly
Year: 2000
Comments:
I think Britney and Justin will hit it off and I hope they do stay together...their such a cute couple! You go Brit!

Name: The Shape
Comments:
All this boy band and Spears crap makes me want to puke. We all know that some fat guy in a wife beater writes those boy pop songs for the groups and Spears is a synthetic robot with no mind of her own. God, if those two got together, I would hate to see the offspring...

Name: Rachel
Comments:
I am so with you on the rumor thing. What a huge waste of time.