"The Tight Six-Pack of Abs I Always Wanted!"
"In just 8 weeks of following my program, I dramatically transformed my
body
into a lean muscle-building machine, cut my body fat levels from 14% to
5%,
and even developed the tight six-pack of abs I always wanted but never
was able
to see before." This is just one of the catch phrases I've heard over and over again while trying to watch television in peace. I've been in school since 1997 and for the last two years alone I can remember seeing this guy's crappy commercial almost every other day. I have come to a few conclusions about this:
A.) I should get a life and quit watching too much brain wave
distorting
television. I am still undecided about what I should do. Which would you do? I admit, yeah, the guy has a stomach that's solid like the bricks Muse Hall is built out of, but it makes you wonder why you can't exercise your head. Every other part of this man reeks of fitness except his head; it looks so out of place along with the rest of his body. Maybe a head shrinker bought his video and didn't get the tight six pack of abs he always wanted and gave him a magic mojo smack-down. I crush your head! Another thing that bugs me is the fact that I don't ever see this commercial at home (thank God). He is based in New York, as the announcer helpfully informs me at the end of the commercial, so why the hell is his commercial on in Radford? I live three and a half hours north of Radford (closer to New York) and never see it on my TV. I wonder if the people in New York see his commercial as often as we see it in Virginia. Any New Yorkers out there? I sincerely hope that his video and fitness lifestyle are doing wonders for him, in fact I hope that he has helped a lot of people achieve a tight six pack of abs. I really hope that he has made an exceedingly huge profit off of it. Why, you ask, is it because I used to be a physical education major and can identify with his career choice? No way! I want him to make money so he can put out a new commercial and get rid of the old one. I want him to have the money to film one that doesn't sound like it's been recorded by his next door neighbor. Most importantly I don't want to hear his voice repeating verbatim in my head what I tried to (unsuccessfully) mute. |
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