There is a malady that every single Radford University student is affected with. Yes, I admit that I am affected with it, too, and so are dear friends who share my deep concern for the wellbeing of this campus. Please, sit down to read this, because, Radford, no one here knows how to walk! Not to say this is a bad thing; in fact, it may be quite beneficial.

How can everyone be affected? Simple! It's all about the domino effect. One person tries to walk around you, you try to walk around that person, you collide anyway, and then everyone else around the entangled mass of Highlander flesh must completely regroup and then try to walk again. But of course the same thing happens again. Oh, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. No, really, I'm sorry. For Pete's sake, I'm sorry!

How could this happen? Again, elementary, my dear Watson. People here are, for the most part, pretty darn nice. If someone from Delta Chi or Sigma Nu comes to my room to invite me to a party, and I turn him down which I always do, he smiles and says, "that's cool man, have a great weekend," and jovially tries the next door. Likewise, when someone steps in our way, it is only great school spirit that causes the minor bumps and bruises in Young Hall and Dalton Cafeteria. "Ouch. GO RADFORD! WOOHOO!"

I have to admit it is really funny to watch this phenomenon. It's almost like those music videos from the early 80s where people are flickering back and forth. We teeter-totter from side to side, trying to get around the other person in front of us and doing our best to defer to the person in our way. Selflessness, I tell you. It's beautiful. We look like bowling pins and halfway catatonic penguins, but it is so beautiful!

Frankly, who cares if the traffic in the hallways gets backed up like a bad case of constipation? We are being kind to our fellow students. It's for humanity's sake, dag-nab-it! Classes come second to good ol' morale at Radford, lemme tell you. I can only see this as a great benefit to our country and our world. Who cares if we can't walk in a straight line to save our lives? It's for the people! Let my walkers go!

Name: jeff
Year: sophomore
Major: english
Comments:
Whoopee! Glad you liked it. Keep reading :)

Name: Jaime Iacobellis
Year: freshman
Major: media studies
Comments:
I totally agree that everyone that I have met in Radford is extremly nice. That is one of the things that I liked so much about Radford when I first got here. Thanks for coming to my class on Tuesday night, you guys have a great website. I never would have gone here unless you came and told me about it, now I will come here all the time.

Name: JLP
Comments:
What I hate the most is when you have a group of people that are walking in in a line that stretches the entire width of the sidewalk. They are usually walking slower than you want to and you have to go into the grass to walk around them because they won't move over to let you pass by, no matter if you're coming from behind or in front of them.

Name: Karen
Comments:
I would just like to say that I am happy to discover that someone else besides me uses the term . =o) I do not go to Radford, but if Jeff says the people are nice, then that is cool. Bye all!