I sat down to watch Freaks and Geeks tonight, and I was looking forward to the event. In fact it's the only reason I wake up on Monday. Well, classes might have something to do with it, but let me tell you I relate to Freaks and Geeks like nothing else. That was high school for me. You think I was the "mahnly mahn" I am now in the ninth grade? Doubt it. The music is awesome, too. Moody Blues, Van Halen, Elton John…great stuff.

Well, just like I "didn't have a life" in high school, I was denied my drama once again for the sake of Twenty One. This was the second Monday night in a row. So, I went to NBC's website and I learned that Freaks and Geeks won't be back on until March 6th. I'll be at home then for Spring Break, but do you think that with one decent television in my house I will be able to watch it? NO WAY! My mother discovered Home and Garden Television when my dad sprung for Primestar a few years ago. Now there are times when I want to watch something and my mom insists on watching Kitty Bartholomew. The woman's head looks like a skunk. Either that or she got in a fight with a bottle of Clorox. That channel goes on all night. Twenty-four hours a day of home improvement, gardening tips, and a fat chef with a cleaver screaming "Oh, you're gonna love it!" I would hope Unisom advertises in that particular time slot.

Want me to get serious now? Okay. Hack and Gag Television is not near as bad as these new game shows. To cover some moral ground, I wonder what really causes 25 million people a night to view these game-show-pseudo-dramas. The motivation, of course, is money, and what draws nearly ten percent of our nation's population to this drivel every night is the fantasy that they could answer those questions. "Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are, "B, blue," Regis, and that is my final answer." Well, isn't that special. What about when Regis throws the real goo at you? "The recommended daily allowance of citrus bioflavonoids complex is a) 5 mg, b) 10 mg, c) 20 mg, or d) 25 mg." The fact that it is a multiple-choice question does not do you any good. Honestly, who knows the answers to such outlandish questions? And you can forget about those life lines. "John, why in the world did you call me? You think I know a darn thing about bye-oh-flav-in-oyds?"

The worst pimple on the face of the tube would be Who Wants To Marry A Multi-Millionaire? Oh yeah, they're in it for his personality! There should be a sequel to that show called, Who Wants Alimony From A Multi-Millionaire? I believe that show was a huge mockery of marriage, one of the most beautiful manifestations of union the human race knows. Nevertheless, 23 million pasty-eyed zombies put their clammy hands on the channel knob and tuned to FOX to watch this sideshow. There will be another one soon I am told. It turns out (visit this site for further details) that the "real estate mogul" is really a publicity-loving motivational speaker who gets paid $7,500 for each speech he gives about executives using humor effectively, and the only real estate he owns is a bunch of low-rent condos that leak. I wonder how much of a "millionaire's life" this guy really has. Hey, he is a rich motivational speaker-"I live…in a Bentley…down by…the health spa!" Sorry Chris, I couldn't resist.