You wake at the crack of dawn. You yawn as you wipe the sleep from your
eyes. Take a deep breath. Smell that? It's the sweet, sweet smell of
cigarettes. Ahhh...
More and more, Radford students seem to be puffing away on cigarettes
between classes. Smoke-free residence halls seem to be filling up with
cloudy smoke. According to residents of Radford's honors academy in
Pocahontas Hall, the smell of cigarette smoke increases their brain power
by 430 percent. "I need to smell the sweet smell of tar each day to
succeed," one student said.
As an experiment of social living, the office of Residential Life at
Radford University has instituted smoke-free living environments in Madison
Hall, Muse Hall (floors 6-9) and Peery Hall for the 1999-2000 semesters. It is expected that the
residents of these buildings will fail 85 to 95 percent more often than
residents living in a haze of cigarette smoke. "Red eyes, brown
fingernails, scratchy voices, smelly hair and yellow teeth are all
qualities of our finest students, and there is a direct correlation between
smoke and good grades," Residential Life officials said.
Radford University has followed the trend of Residential Life, and quickly
adopted the "Smoking for Success" policy, with goals to fully reveal the
strategies of the four-part plan this fall. In celebration of the
ribbon-cutting by RU's Board of Visitors, Muse Hall will be decorated to
look like a gigantic Marlboro cigarette.
So what does this mean for non-smokers? Pack your bags, folks. We're
destined for failure. If we can't adapt to the trends on campus, we are
not fit to live here. Feeling academically inadequate? Smoke 'em if
you've got 'em.
What do you think? Leave your feedback below.
By clicking on "Submit," you assert that you are who you represent to be and your
comments abide by section 20 of Radford's Student Handbook (for RU students), and by the Virginia State and Federal laws including but not limited to libel, copyright law, and invasion of privacy. The comments posted on this site are not necessarily representative of the views of Radford University, its
administration, faculty, staff or all of its students. For more information, read our policy on feedback fora.
Responses: Refresh page to view latest entries.
Comments:
orgy? did sombody say orgy?
Comments:
Cigarettes are the vice of the world. Screw all you smoking bastards. Stay outta my face with that junk.
Name: tkp42 Comments:
this article actually makes sense. RU students need some serious stress relievers and i don't think we're going to be having any orgies any time soon, so i guess i'll just keep smoking... ;P
Name: puff puff give Comments:
see Brian, that's why I smoke. :)
