Local Favorite Named Best American Gourmet Restaurant of the Year
by JAMES ANDREWS
Sir Van Wannapuke, one of Germany's finest chefs, visited Radford University last week to give a lecture on how to properly roast a hot dog with a real dog and a flame thrower.
On his visit, he decided to eat at the renowned Dalton cafeteria. Following the smell of fried fat, the chef entered the cafeteria and was instantly amazed at the dishes that were being served. Being a gourmet chef for many years, Wannapuke was amazed at how the Dalton crew not only demonstrated their marvelous skill by throwing the pizza dough into
the air, but was amazed at how the customers joined in the act by tossing
their cookies into the air as well.
He also complemented the Dalton crew for the marvelous idea of having freshly-stomped fruit juice served. "The device works so simply," the chief explains. "First you fill up a barrel
with all of the fruit and then you have fellow co-workers stomp on the fruit with their feet until the juice comes out."
"I liked this place so much, I have decided to award it with the 'Sir Van Wannapuke Award for Gourmet Excellence," the elated chef said.
Upon acceptance, Radford University issued a statement concerning the award.
"We are very pleased to accept this award," said one of Radford University's
top officials. "While we do not eat there personally, we will be sure (NOT) to do
so in the future."
One student coming out of Dalton said, "Dalton? Winning an award on cooking? Holy
shit!! Is hell freezing over already?"
Regretfully, Wannapuke suffered a massive seizure and died as a result of his own cooking. We send our condolences to his family.
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