I am in this club that meets once a week. There is an officer there who is absolutely the most perfect guy I've ever come across. He's gorgeous, talented, smart, funny and kind. I am positively head over heels, but there are a lot of problems. First off, I am a freshmen and he is older than me. Secondly, he's way out of my class. I'm not
what one would consider an attractive person. Actually, I am down right ugly! I don't know what to do. We are friends I guess, but I feel like he could be the one. I have never felt like this about anyone before. He makes me feel all fluttery inside, but I still feel comfortable with him. My confidence is nil. How do I grab this guy?
Sincerely,
Too Timid
Dear Too Timid,
Honey, let me just tell you: been there, done that! However, before I fill you in on snagging your man, I feel I must address a much more urgent issue. That is your self confidence. As Ru Paul would say, "If you don't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love anybody else?"
Let me just say outright that I know for a fact that you are a beautiful worth while person. Even though I've never met you, I know this. How, you ask? Everyone on this earth is beautiful, unique, and amazing in their own way (I know I sound like the Disney Channel here, but bear with me). I don't care if you have elephantitus of the nostrils. You would still be beautiful! Every human being in creation is. There never is and never has been an ugly looking person. What makes you ugly or beautiful is the quality and content of your heart.
There is no such thing as out of your league! If he doesn't find you attractive, then he isn't your soul mate. It doesn't mean you are undeserving. If anyone chooses to dispute your beauty, take it from an expert, they feel far worse about themselves than you do. Try this little exercise: for every negative thing you think or say about yourself say three positive things.
You are young and only in the beginning of your life. If he is the one, then grow and love wisely. If not, then you will meet him someday. I personally promise you there is someone in this world for everybody. Show some initiative. How are you ever going to know if he is the love of your life? The greatest risks we take provide us with the biggest life lessons we come across.
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Major: mstd Comments:
Girl,, if you think you are so ugly why don't you fix yourself up? Get a makeover, a new hairsyle, go shopping...spoil yourself a little! Nobody is ugly... some people just don't try hard enough to look the way they would like to. If you like him so much why don't you find some event and ask him to go with you. It doesn't have to sound like a date, even though to youit would be!
Name: PeeR Major: Interpersonal Communications Comments:
Too Timid, There comes a time in everyone's life where self-doubt is a reality. We all go through it. It takes a big heart to fight through that and see the positives, but as Nikki so perfectly pointed out, the only one who can do that is yourself.
If you love who you are when you are with this person, that is love. Don't let anything stop you from making that step if you've hit that point. Grades, appearance, class, gender, age, and anything else become irrelevant when there is love. Go for it. You won't be disappointed. =)
