My best friend and I are closer than most sisters. About a year ago, she met her boyfriend and they started a really serious relationship. They are so "in love," or so I thought! A few nights ago, we were all watching movies together, and she left the room to see a friend who was really upset. We were laying on the bed and all of a sudden, he rolled over and started kissing me, and telling me how much he wanted me. Of course I shoved him off and left the room. I don't know what to do because she really
loves him. She has planned her whole future around this guy (we're talking kids and marriage). I don't know if it's any of my business to interfere with the relationship, but I just can't go on like this anymore. I can't hang out with her because she is always with him. It is causing some serious problems with our friendship. What do I do?
Sincerely,
A Friend in Need
Dear Friend in Need,
Tell her! Tell her now! It is important to be tactful and comforting when you tell her because there is no way of knowing how she will react to such a deep betrayal, especially by her first love. To me, this sounds more like a relationship of infatuation between the two that is starting to lose its flavor. I suspect this because when you are really in love to do something like trying to have sex with
your partner's best friend wouldn't happen. It's better to let her know the facts now than to marry him, have kids, and then find out. It is your business to do this because she is your friend, and you should be looking out for her. It is inevitable that this will change your friendship because of this. However, in the long run, if she's a true friend, she'll thank you for your loyalty. Do what you know is right and open her eyes.
Love Always,
Nikki
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Name:Brian :) Major: Advertising & Interpersonal Communications Comments:
I couldn't agree more with Nikki. Tell her NOW. If it hurts, she will get over it. If you don't tell her, I can promise you it will come back to haunt you. If (or when) she finds out, she will hate YOU for it. So, take a pro-active step, and tell her now, before things escalate. Also, it was good that you told the guy "no." Tell him that it bothers you that he is playing your friend. He is in the wrong. Make sure he knows that. Of course, that's just my $.02