I need to take a quick moment to address an issue about something on campus. No, it isn't noise pollution, it's not the dogs pooping everywhere. It is not anything political, and it isn't about student's rights. I am addressing the issue of ketchup. Yep. That's right. Ketchup. Why? You ask. I'll tell you why.

I got some take-out french fries at Dalton this week. Before I completely left the building, I suddenly remembered that I needed ketchup to accompany the crinkle-cut fries. Recalling that I had none in my room, I determined that I had two options: Get some from Dalton, or run into Chick-fil-a and get some.

Now, before I continue to vent, I need to inform you that I have nothing against the establishments of Dalton or Chick-fil-a beyond their ketchup policy. Now, back to my vent.

Since I had just left Dalton, I made the choice to return for some ketchup. Upon my decision, it dawned on me that Dalton has a strict re-entry policy, and frankly, I wasn't about to hear that I couldn't re-enter, even for ketchup. I politely withdrew from the card lady's tremendously important task of sliding plastic cards through a scanner.

I then took my take-out, and set it on top of the trash can outside the cafeteria, and walked into Chick-fil-a. I went straight for the basket of ketchup. I grabbed about 4 or so, and turned to go on my way, when the Ketchup Nazi demanded I return the ketchup, or pay the toll of $.10 per packet.

I looked at my fistful of packets, then at her. "Are you serious?!" I asked her. She nodded her head, and pointed to a sign behind the counter. Sure enough, there was a sign which read something to the effect that there was a $.10 tax on ketchup for non-customers. Wow. A sign. I was stunned. My quest for ketchup was becoming an excercise in futility. I looked at the sign once more in sheer amazement, and returned my loaded fist to the basket. I looked at the Ketchup Nazi, wished her a pleasant day, and went on my way.

What kind of system is this? We are in higher education here, people. This is not elementary school. Good Lord! People, if you ever accidentally forget to pick up some ketchup, save yourself the incredible hassle and just suck it up. Being a Dalton "outsider" will get you nowhere. Don't do what I did and assume that your polite behavior and calm manner will grant your desire for five packets of ketchup. This is just outrageous.