Condom Review

A Critical Guide to Choosing a Condom, Part II

On assignment from Whim, I was tasked to do research on Condoms. I needed to gather my own data, so my Fiancee and I went to work so we could bring you this critical guide to choosing a condom. Remember that abstinence is the best way to prevent pregnancy and venereal disease, but if you are going to have sex, then please use a condom.

What follows is the second part of a one-month study on condoms. This part was researched and developed during spring break. At first I was worried about being able to find the Fourex Natural Skin condoms, but I soon became worried at how easy they are to find. Read on...

Sheik:

Classic Lubricated: Only as effective and strong as your standard generic condom, but the Sheik rubber is a popular favorite because the chick on the commercials is a hottie!

Super thin Lubricated: Offers excellent sensitivity but gives you about the same protection as a layer of toilet paper.

Classic Spermicidally Lubricated: A pretty effective little rubber, but the name "Sheik" always makes me imagine that the lubricant is some sort of motor oil.

Super thin Spermicidally Lubricated: The spermicide isn't bad, but the rubber itself is so thin that the risk of rupture outweighs the effectiveness of the spermicide. I suggest you double or triple ply with this one.

Super thin Spermicidally Lubricated with Ribs: If you can keep the super thin latex in one piece, the "Xtra high ribs" will probably get you some style points.

Excita: If you think you stress too much about getting pregnant, then the extra spermicidal lubrication of the mildly ribbed "Excita" may save you a headache or two.

Ramses:

Extra Spermicidally Lubricated: Ramses uses inferior quality lubricant that tends to cling to itself and travel around the surface of the rubber when you're trying to put it on. Instead of forming a uniform layer, it all tends to hang out in one spot, so it's almost as effective as not having any lubricant at all. This condom certainly fails to live up to the reputation of the the Ramses, "King of Kings."

Extra Spermicidally Lubricated with Ribs: Incorporates the same crappy spermicide as regular lubricated Ramses, but with raised ribs so they can charge you more.

Ultra thin Spermicidally Lubricated: Works well for about three or four minutes, until all of the lubricant wears away, at which point the tissue thin latex will most likely split, so avoid this brand like the plague.

Fourex Natural Skins/Klingtite NaturaLamb:

Condoms made of a goat's intestines may have been state of the art a thousand years ago, but the invention of latex has rendered these antiques obsolete. They are useless as birth control and completely ineffective at preventing disease transfer. I once found one of these in my parent's room. I had seen condoms before, but I wasn't sure what this thing was. The trick is to use a condom that was developed within the decade. If you area fan of these condoms we would LOVE to hear from you.

Saxon:

Gold Circle Coin: Comes wrapped in heavy gold foil. Not terrific protection, but not too bad. The gold foil that is, the actual condom sucks.

Gold Circle Rainbow Coin: Convenient packaging for travel, but even drier than an ordinary dry condom.

Gold Circle Assorted Colors with Spermicide: The only product by Saxon that is reasonable for everyday use. The spermicidal lubricant is surprisingly effective. Plus, if a chick busts you on a date with one of these in your pocket, you can sometimes convince them that it's Canadian money.

What do you think? Leave your feedback below.

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